Atomic Balm

Atomic Balm is a type of Icy Hot, except it's extremely hot when applied to the skin. Hence the Atomic Balm name. Inevitably every year the seniors can talk some poor freshman into rubbing Atomic Balm on some random body part and the freshman has to go through the entire football practice with their hands, legs, or something on fire. Occassionally, the seniors can talk the freshman into applying Atomic Balm on their genitalia. Now, I'm no genius, but I am not about to apply any type of balm to my genitalia unless I know exactly what it does. I'm not going to take someone else's word for it. Especially when the word Atomic is in the title.

This year, a few of our seniors talked a Poly into applying Atomic Balm on his genitalia. This Poly is a senior as well. It's not in his culture to apply sports rub on an injury (see previous posts). The way this transpired was rather interesting. While taping the ankles of the senior pranksters, I was listening to their conversation about applying Atomic Balm to this Poly's leg. He was scared. Didn't really trust the pranksters. Frankly, I wouldn't either. The Poly asked me what I thought. My reply was "I wouldn't trust them. Don't do it."

He didn't listen to me. Apparently he took some of the balm, went into the locker room and the pranksters talked him into rubbing it on his genitalia. I had no idea this was going on. Not that I was going to stop him, but hey, ignorance is bliss.

About an hour later, I go out to practice. The coaches are laughing and the poor Poly looks like he's in pain. Things start to click. A coach yells across the field asking if I have any treatment for this ailment. I laugh and said "No way! That's his fault for not listening to me!"

Apparently, he had applied the balm, it started to become extremely hot (hence Atomic Balm) and decided to wash it off. Well, Atomic Balm is activated by rubbing and water. Not a good idea to attempt to wash it off. This just made matters worse. He had to suffer through the entire practice with his little friend on fire.