Does anyone else wonder what the hell Mike Tyson is talking about when he speaks? Now get this...Mike Tyson has a "docudrama" on Animal Planet. I laughed hysterically with that sentence. Mike Tyson has his own show on Animal Planet...Is he the star or the narrator? Is Mike Tyson the animal or the Steve Erwin type? I would pay money to see Mike Tyson say "Isn't she a beaut!"
I digress...
Yes, Mike Tyson now has his own "docudrama" on Animal Planet. His television show is all about pigeons. I hope your reaction was similar to mine (insert cocked head with a confused look). Evidently, Mike Tyson fell in love with pigeons while growing up in Brooklyn. Now, if you are even semi-sane, you will wonder what the hell Mike Tyson is talking about. Pigeons are rats of the sky. They are dirty, disgusting, and stupid. But apparently, Mike Tyson loves them.
The pigeons Mike Tyson raises are the racing pigeons, not the flying rats that shit all over the city. I had no idea there was a difference. He says his pigeons are the "thoroughbreds of the sky." Yes, Mike Tyson is comparing his rats of the sky to race horses worth millions of dollars. (Again, insert cocked head with confused look) Mike Tyson spends hours a day in the coop staring at the birds, this is much to the dismay of his wife...um...if I were Mike Tyson's wife I would be happy he is spending hours away from me. That means he can't beat me up during those hours. Just sayin'.
Now all of this may have you rolling on the floor, but the quote of the day has to be "If your pigeons are healthy, you must be a clean and healthy guy." Now duh! Obviously that's how I measure my worth...based on my pigeons health. God forbid my pigeon is unhealthy. A dirty pigeon is unbecoming.
If you are like me...an immature teenager at heart...you were visualizing Mike Tyson singing "In The Air of the Night" and playing the air drums. All while he was feeding his jungle cat. Apparently Mike Tyson is NOT a jungle cat owner, he is a pigeon owner.
Being a speedy rat of the sky doesn't change the fact that they're still Rats. Of. The. Sky.
ReplyDeleteI have a hard time explaining this fact to my kids, who love the pigeons (in a childish delight with anything that will fly away when you chase it way, not in a twisted Mike Tyson way). They are offended with my comments of "Don't get too close to the pigeons, they're gross flying rats."
So I've learned to keep my mouth shut around my girls and pigeons.
"NO YOU CANNOT KEEP THAT PIGEON FEATHER IT LEFT BEHIND! PUT IT DOWN! AND GO WASH OF THE FIRST TWO LAYERS OF SKIN FROM YOUR HANDS!!!"
Hey - the next time we go on vacation I am totally taking you as our nanny! Yeah, it's great to be there with the kids, but there were a dozen or so times when Jeff and I were wishing we had a sitter...
ReplyDeleteAnd your dog could play with Kelso at Camp Bow Wow!
I have it all planned!