Fan Favorite

This is quite possibly the fan favorite of all my athlete stories. This has been told and retold at numerous parties. I do have to warn you, if you are offended by foul language this probably isn't the story for you to read, but it's totally worth it.

This all started during 2-a-days with football, I was an athletic training student and trying to find my place in this "boy's club" I call a job. I was taping the ankles of Gump. He was a freshman, extremely irritating, and had developed a crush on me. Gump was an offensive lineman, which doesn't boast well for him. O-linemen are notorious fat and sloppy guys. I had obviously pissed God off and my penance was to tape Gump's ankles every day for a year.

One early morning I was taping Gump's ankles, his buddy, J, hopped up on the taping table next to him. J asked Gump if I was good at taping ankles. His reply "She's the best." Knowing what I know now, I probably should have just smiled politely and ignored the rest of the conversation. But I hadn't developed my athlete filter yet and I blurted out "Of course I am" or "You know it." Something along those lines.

Gump smirked and said "She even gets my sexual innuendos."

At this point I knew I was in for some trouble. I politely bowed out of the conversation, ears still listening.

J asked "What's a sexual endo?"

I started laughing because all I could picture were 2 people entangled in each others bodies falling off the bed or something that would necessitate the word ENDO. (***endo is slang for a large fall)

Gump said "No, not endo, innuendo. It's like when you say something that's not sexual but it can be sexual."

J, so wanting to understand the meaning behind this brand new word, asked "Oh! Like B@#$% suck my dick?"

At this point, I'm looking around for someone to validate this story. I was the only one around. No one was there to witness the fine brainpower of a few collegiate football players. I was stunned and didn't participate in the conversation.

Gump said "No, that's not an innuendo dumb ass."

The phrase sexual innuendo has never been the same for me. I am forever tainted by Gump and J and their stupidity. This is when I realized that we, as a society, idolize these people and for what?!